This letter from 1943 is written by Sylvia pretending to be Adrienne. It’s quite funny and, of course, mentions farting a lot. Sylvia (or, Adrienne, in this letter) also notes that Alex may be mad at her, but it is unclear what happened during a phone call that is mentioned on the last page. The mysteries continue. Sylvia is still living with her family at this point. She hasn’t yet gotten the apartment next to the Navy Yard.
Envelope addressed to:
Daddy Alex Rosner (Backward S on the envelope)
You are the dearest daddy in the world. Mommy said I should write to you. Now that I’m so smart.She says you’d like to hear what I do all day.
I do nothing but eat and sleep. But, you know, daddy, Mommy says I take after you because I like to fart. You should see her face when I give a good loud fart – especially when company is around! Mommy and I have signals for each other – when someone’s in the house whom I don’t like, I fart only once – but if there’s someone I do like, I fart loud and long (and stinky too, mommy says…) because I like to show off.
Everybody laughs, so I laugh too. As a matter of fact, I always laugh at everyone. They all act so silly when they see a baby. They make faces, and talk baby talk and say goo-goo, like Uncle Eugene.
Daddy dear, I doubt if mommy understands me. Very often just when ‘m ready to fall asleep, I hear a noise and lift my head to see what it is – and when mommy sees this, she pats my back and says “go to sleep, Cookie.” Really, daddy, will you explain to my old-fashioned mother that times have changed? A girl my age has to keep her eyes and ears open; she has to know what’s going on in the world.
I’ve tried to explain this to mommy, but she doesn’t seem to understand, so won’t you tell her?
I’m very anxious to see if you’ve changed daddy dear. And also, mommy tells me that you and she once had a farting contest at three in the morning… and you won. But I bet I’ll win if you have one with me when you get home.
I exercise a lot during the day. I turn this way and that way, but I still can’t turn over. It won’t be long now. Maybe I’ll do it by the time you come home – and please take a shave if you’re gonna run your face on mine the way you used to.
And now you can’t spank me the ways you used to – I’m a big girl now, pop. I can take it… and can give it, too! Mommy’s really a swell gal, dad, isn’t she. And you’re really a swell father. I have the 2 most wonderful parents in the world – and pardon me for saying so, you two have the sweetest baby in the world. Please hurry home soon, daddy dear, as i want to learn how to sail a ship and to tie a sailor’s knot around –(?)’s neck.
Adrienne (Alias “Droopydrawers”)
P.S. My vaccination’s fine. How are you?
P.S. Daddy darling, mommy said if you’re mad at her, then you should write to me (if you’re angry and won’t write to her.)
My package went out today – and I hope you like what I bought for you.
P.P.S. Won’t you forgive mommy? She loves you very much, and is very downhearted since you called.